As Beautiful as You (in memoriam Clementi)

The murder of Ophir Rahum, who was lured to Ramallah via the internet in 2001, was a changing point in Israel that raised awareness to the possibilities of anonymity, masked identities and deceit through the internet. Having matured and learned the possibilities of the anonymity of others on the internet, it was horrifying to learn how one’s own anonymity can be stripped off involuntarily, as seen in the tragic circumstances of Tyler Clementi’s death.

From what I’ve read, there is little room for doubt that this suicide was a result of hate-crime related harassment, that it was homophobic and that it was a form of bullying. These are all serious offences (I am not sure about the laws against bullying in NJ, though), but I want to focus on the lesson we all need to draw. It is not related to homophobia not because I consider that lightly. Sadly, I recognize that homosexuals will always be a minority in society, and thus have their cross to bear. I reject it, I lament it, I do everything I can in my own life to promote tolerance, and I hope for a day where things will be different. I also recognize that people will always be apprehensive of the other, and anyone who is in a group of "others" is likely to suffer at one point or another from some form of heterophobia: racism, antisemitism, islamophobia, homophobia, xenophobia – I’m sure we can think of more. They will not disappear in any foreseeable future. The first step to fighting these evils, is to admit that they exist, and discuss them openly. Not only when others discriminate against us, but also wherever we see that we suffer of similar bias.

It would be a shame if this case received emphasis and attention because of its tragic consequences. Clementi’s choice is saddening, unfathomable, irreversible. But the horror of this story does not begin there. The true horror lies in the actions of Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, both old enough to tell right from wrong, who crossed a line no-one should cross in their lifetime. This transgression is the most terrible thing that happened, and it should serve as a frightful alarm, one that is not sounded loud enough in the hollow space of the virtual web.

In the beginning of the Book of Genesis, we are told that the serpent claims that God forbade Adam and Eve to eat from the fruit of the tree of knowledge, because they would become as gods, knowing good and evil. The quintessential character of knowledge is portrayed here as a moral quality, the ability to discern right from wrong. We do not know whether the serpent was truthful or erroneous, but the immediate consequence of eating the fruit was awareness of nudity, and shame of it. Thus, from an early stage of human history, a mythic connection is tied between morals and bodily privacy. Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei should have known that their actions are a despicable intrusion of a person’s privacy, just as they must have known that this exposure means shame.

The technologies of the past five or ten years are said to have destroyed anonymity. As much as this can be true, it still remains the decision of a person how much of this anonymity to relinquish to Facebook, Twitter and other forms of communication. I do not intend to denounce the technologies themselves. They are merely a platform, which can be used in various ways for better or for worse. We should, however, pay attention to the opportunities at hand for evil-doers, and give serious consideration to walls of protection grounded in this technology.

What is perhaps even more disconcerting is the notion that Ravi and Wei did not feel the slightest tremble as they were crossing the final frontier from human decency to pure evil. Their whole lives are embedded in visibility, publicity and technology, that playing a prank with the same media, did not seem like what the same action would have entailed twenty or thirty years ago.

Thus, the main problem that poses itself before with this tragedy, is the immediacy, accessibility and rapidity of media. Video cameras were becoming popular when I was growing up in the 1980s. They seem so cumbersome compared to an in-built laptop webcam, or a camera in a cellphone. The same is true for stills.

Options for dissemination, broadcast and publicity were close to none. After making a family video, the best you could do was to find a time for everyone to sit together in the living room and watch the video tape. Compare this to immediacy of Twitter, to the audience of your Facebook account, to your followers on MySpace (are any left?), and you instantly realize the distance we have come. Light years, which human incapacity to adapt, accept and transpose common etiquette for these new circumstances is quickly turning into Dark Years.

Rapidity and immediacy means less barriers, less sublimation. We are heading to an era with no censorship, with no editors, and we are on screen. So the first thing that has to be said is an affirmation of responsibility for your actions, for your own privacy, and for privacy of your friends, relatives, co-workers and roommates. Anyone you may accidentally capture digitally and might make his private moment public without asking. If we all start with this sense of responsibility and respect, we will be far better than where we are now.

The second step we have to take is to be responsible viewers. True, there were enough reasons to call for responsible spectatorship for over three decades, with the deteriorating criteria of television, with the quality of films, with the violent invasion of advertisements to public space. But in the visually-heightened world we are living in, this is true more than ever: not every link on Facebook is worth clicking, if a tweet sounds suspiciously gross, you should have the sense to protect your senses from setting your personal threshold of horrors. Remember, with every click you are numbing your senses a little more. If an ad promises you will see this or that star in a paparazzi nude – you don’t have to look! Your life will be just as complete without seeing the woman with the three nipples, or the underwear-less singer. Isn’t there a wonderful sense of liberation in this choice? Send those spammers and "like" pages on Facebook a clear message, that they are going to have to work harder – and I mean real hard, cerebral hard – to get your attention. Don’t promote your networking space with filth and nonsense that is clattering your brain and soul and creating too much noise from anything that is important. There are important things in life. There are things that have to stop. There are, far too many, nonsense that make no difference either way.

The new media is culture-shocking a wide part of civilization. Some treat it like a new toy, others like a juvenile driver driving recklessly. Many are simply unable to handle their public visibility. The worst thing would be to blame the technology and be afraid of it. We need to embrace it, and we need to teach ourselves to live with it, to mature as a community in order for us to use it wisely for our benefit. Two simple rules, please spread the word: 1. Be responsible producers of visual data; 2. Be responsible spectators.

I didn’t know Tyler Clementi, and have no clever words of comfort for his loss. After reading the NYT article, I went to the piano, and played Don Mclean’s "Vincent":

 

Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist’s
Loving hand.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how,
Perhaps they’ll listen now.

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight on that starry
Starry night –
You took your life
As lovers often do;
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

 

May we be clever enough to make this world worthy of its beautiful, fragile people.